Lexical Light

Thin Place Thursday: 6 yr Old Esther Heard God

Esther's Thin Place story, God in School, brought tears to my eyes, not because of the bad stuff Esther experienced, but because God spoke to her. It reminded me to pray that the Holy Spirit will minister to my children when & where I can't. I'll do my best to parent, but I'll fall short. Thankfully, God can fill in the gaps. 

(Thin Place Thursday at MaryDeMuth.com features reader submitted stories about God meeting them in a thin place, a place where heaven and earth meet. It's the theme of Mary's memoir, one of my favorite books. Because I like the book and helping others share their stories, I help get the stories online.)

My "Teach Your Child to Ride a Bike" article on Suite101

"An Easy, No Pressure Way to Teach Your Child to Ride a  Bike", my first article on Suite101.com,  was published last week. (With video.)

If you have young'uns who are almost ready to shed the training wheels, my article will give you some unique insights. It's not the traditional run-behind-the-kid method. True to my bent, it's a more laid back approach.

 

Dance with My Father (Thin Place contest submission)

Back when I was a child, my father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me. He'd spin me around until I fell asleep, then up the stairs he would carry me. I knew for sure I was loved. I'd like to say those words are mine, inspired by childhood memories, but they're not. Luther Vandross wrote and sang them.

A father's love is almost mythical to me, though I grew up with two dads. One was absent, the other harsh.  For whatever reasons, neither one fulfilled the emotional role of a father. I don't remember feeling loved by either of them. So, I cultivated a thick skin of low expectations and apathy in an attempt to protect the daddy-daughter part of my soul that longed for affection. The calluses meant to defend tender spots worked. I managed through life well enough. However, the healthy tenderness required for intimacy remained hidden within a calloused heart.

Some of that hardness is sloughed off during a worship service at church. Raising my hands as I sing, I'm suddenly dancing with my Father - my  arms lifted to God like a young daughter reaching up to dance with Daddy. As I sway, I envision a little girl's black patent shoes on her Daddy's feet. I feel as if I am standing on God's feet as He enjoys my presence. There it is - a thin place in this daughter's heart. As I dance with my Heavenly Father, my Daddy God (Romans 8:15), I know for sure I am loved.

This is my submission to a Win a Kindle 259 Word-Memoir contest as part of a social media tour for Mary E. DeMuth's new book Thin Places.

 

Internet Filter Recommendation: K9 Web Protection

I've been in search for a good internet filter since I switched all my other computer maintenance tasks (anti-virus, firewall, off site backup, etc.) to Plum Choice. When I used Trend Micro they had a decent filtering components, but they don't offer it separately. (It didn't always response well to "adding" sites so I don't miss it terribly.)

I bought Net Nanny 5.0  and didn't like the way it mucked up the computer. Ugh. The customer support wasn't much help either. They do have a subscription service I considered, but I wasn't ready to go there.
During my search I had heard of K9, but never installed it. Then a mom in home school co-op mentioned it last week. This weekend I installed it and it has worked well.

K9 Web Protection from Blue Coat offers free internet filtering and parental controls.

I just installed it today, but so far I'm pleased with:

*ease of installation 
*it didn't muck of the computer
*seems to work fairly well (It missed a few seemingly innocent sites that had links in them. I just added them to the blocked list.)
*easy and effective administrator override

A few things it doesn't do:
*set users at multiple security levels
*monitor different users' time on computer

Hey, it's free. If they added those few things, I'd be willing to pay. Within the next year or so I may go with Cyber Patrol's paid option because it does have a few more bells & whistles. (But if they muck up my computer, it's outta here.)

So, if you're looking for a quick, easy, cheap answer to filtering the web, check out K9 Web Protection from Blue Coat.

Book Tour: Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture

Mary E. DeMuth was one of the first blogging writers I discovered, way back in 2005. Upon finding her blog, Relevant Blog (I think it was Relevant Girl back then), and her Relevant Prose news letter because both contain easily digested info for writers. Now, I'm thrilled to help spread the word about her latest book, Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture.

Don't let the phrase "postmodern culture" scare you. Mary gives a quick explanation of the idea and how it has influenced American culture and American churches. Additionally, the subtitle, "Practical Help for Shaping Your Children's Hearts, Minds and Souls," assures you it's not merely a lofty, idealogical book on parenting. Instead, it's quite user friendly. I've been reading it over breakfast the past few days and it's a lovely compliment to my Berrylicious Oatmeal. For more a bit more about the common sense parenting approach Mary conveys, read this Practical Tips post. 

You can go to Amazon for more info about the book and check out Mary's site, Relevant Prose, for more info from her and about her.

About the blog tour:
I've received a complimentary copy of the book from the publisher in return for writing a few posts about it. For a list of other blogs on the tour, go here.

Crayon Ministry

Earlier this week I combined several of my interests into an enjoyable afternoon: being with my kids, teaching my kids to serve, serving the kids at church, and good Crayola crayons.

My brood & I spent the afternoon at church kicking off the Crayon Ministry. We went through seven preschool classrooms and the elementary church sorting and restocking crayons. Once we got a system down, we were making pretty good time. The kids got a playscape break after each class and a snack when we were done, but they also enjoyed making sure the other kids would have good crayons to use.  The even wrote notes for the first few rooms, saying they hope they enjoyed their crayons.

We brought home at least five pounds of broken crayons with wrappers on and about two pounds of "naked" crayons. (Wonder what kind of google hits that will bring in?) We'll recycle the unusable broken crayons by melting them & pouring them in candy molds of different shapes. (Watch for updates on that.) My challenge now is to not spend an inordinate amount of time unwrapping the crayon bits. I'm far from being OCD, but I have my moments when I can obsess about getting a task like that done while the dishes stack up around me. I'll need to set my trusty timer and train the kids to say, "Step away from the crayons" when time is up.

I like crayons. I like kids. This is one little way to enjoy both and minister at the same time.   

Character Development Update

I can't believe it was only two days ago I was in tears on the phone w/dh, calling for backup in the parenting department. I honestly thought it was last Friday or something, but when I checked the blog & my personal notes, it was indeed a mere 48 hours ago.

Because I briefly referred to the crisis and the outcome in this post, I wanted to mention today's progress because it's so encouraging. The same child who tested my parenting mettle on Monday, blessed my socks off today. She brought me a healthy breakfast in bed and appointed herself my "house helper" today. She helped with everything from laundry (I'm breaking my laundry fast.) to the kitchen.

I wish I could think of some clever closing sentence, worthy of a fridge magnet, but  I can't. Aha! Here it is - "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." Galatians 6:9 (NAS)

Update on the update: Oh, the irony. Even as this is being uploaded on Tyepad, said child is yelling, screaming and being altogher rude to siblings. Thankfully, I have my guildelines: 1)Spank for blatant disobedience to my directions. 2) "Time-out"/isolation in her room because of rudeness to siblings. I also want to remember to speak each child's love language. (Book alert.)

Books that Build Character

As I mentioned, I've had character on the brain lately. Before I got out of bed this a.m., I prayed to use today to build character in myself & the kids.  I had no idea what I was in for. Okay, maybe I had an idea because it's something I've been dealing w/the past few weeks, but it took on new proportions today. It also bore new fruit. (Hooray!) I can't go into details now, but the day had a happy ending for all parties involved.

Now, about the book. Via the Amazon entry for The Moral Intelligence of Children I found Books that Build Character. (Yet another reason to enjoy a good book.) Our fabulous library had it. I reserved it on line & picked it up today when Songbird turned in her 4th 25 book reading log. (Yes, I'm proud.)

Here's what I want to remember from what I read today:

"But why stories? Why not simply explain the difference between right and wrong to your children? Why not supply them with a list of dos and don'ts?
    Such explanations are important, of course, but they fail to touch children on the level where it really matters-the level of imagination. Imagination. The word comes form "image" -a mental picture. And these pictures have a way of sticking in our memory and making demands on our conscience long after the explanations have been rubbed thin by the frictions of daily life." (p. 20, Books that Build Character)

(Perhaps that's one reason Jesus didn't just walk around teaching the Ten Commandments.)

Wow! What an incentive to keep striving to fill the kids' minds with good books. (Of course in addition to THE Good Book.) Heck, it's incentive to keep filling my mind w/good books. It also makes me appreciate a worthwhile story more, either in book or movie.

What does that have to do w/my day today? Just a reminder that a life is more than a list. 

Revelation of the Day: Do as I Do

Developing character, in myself and my children, has been on my mind the past few months.

• As I prepare for this coming school year, I want to put character training high on the list in terms of priorities.
• My lack of character (moral or ethical strength, self-discipline) in parts of my life are keeping me from being a good steward of my talents.
• My lack of character negatively affects others. (see footnote)
• There are parenting issues arising that require lots of character on my part.

Today I was rereading Michael Pearl's article, Jumped Ship, part 5 in a series on why some children walk away from their parents and their teaching. This paragraph smacked me on the head:

"You must become what you want your child to become if you would bring him to repentance. You must become a person of joy, peace, and love. You must know God and love him. You must be disciplined and holy in your own personal life. You must tend to your marriage so that it becomes the envy of all who know you well."

Do I require things of my children that I'm not doing? That doesn't mean I stop training them until I am flawless. It does mean that I need to be addressing my character issues with more tenacity - take the log out of my own eye, so to speak.  Instead of looking at my current challenges as focusing so much thought on how to correct my children, I need to first consider how to train myself to respond to my children.

Update: Tonight while I was skimming Parenting Today's Adolescent by Dennis & Barbara Rainey of Family Lif Today, I ran across this tidbit that fit so well w/this post: "...the emphasis (of the book) on helping parents develop their own convictions on issues before attempting to shape the convictions of their children. It is impossible to make the old "do as I say, not as I do" routine work with today's young people. They just won't buy it-and shouldn't." (p. XIV) There's hope! I'm so thankful for books, magazine, and web resources that enable me to learn from others' experiences.

*Funny thing happened while writing this post - my lack of character showed up. I had to take the shirts from LAST July's production up to church because I had not done so yet.  Granted, they are washed and in a nice new container - but they are at my house instead of the church. Oy. As if that wasn't bad enough, one of my friends had to come pick up the shirts because dh & I haven't fished out my truck key that's been stuck in the truck seat for a few months. See how my weak character can affect others? Double oy.
 

"We're having fun cleaning."

I just had to document that quote from my 6 year old daughter. My 7 year old daughter actually agreed. They were cleaning the entry way when Songbird piped up, "We're having fun cleaning." Fifi chimes in, "It's not bad when you get used to it." Therein lies the rub - when you get used to it. That implies doing it regularly, which requires consistency, not my strong suit.

How many parts of our lives would benefit from doing good things consistently? How much of our lives are less than ideal because of consistently doing wrong things? Oy. I'll let this incident encourage me to keep trying to develop consistent routines for the kiddos and myself.